I'm asking because I think I just did. I was chatting with my good friend Green Sleestak today and he mentioned that he and his family had been pigging out and spoiling themselves with good food this weekend.
I realized right then that I'd been being so good about eating better lately that I was killing candy-loving Tanis. And so I went for a walk to the Super Value Drug Mart down the road to see if they'd maybe lowered their prices on Easter Candy yet. They hadn't, because it was technically still easter, but you know what? That didn't bother me. I bought a bag of those neon coloured marshmallow eggs that seriously look like they should kill you. I'm sure there's some Red Dye #3 in those. And Sugar. And that's about it. I also bought a creme egg and a caramilk egg (Delish). And a bag of sour licorice, which has nothing to do with Easter, but I wanted to try it. In case you were wondering? Don't ever do that. It's addictive and you've got it in your mouth and your tastebuds are screaming: You could've had green rope licorice, but instead you had this and now look at you. All puckered!
And the girl who's the cashier at the Super Value Drug Mart? Can lick my bum. I'm very sure she's a sullen, teenage angstress, but when I put down some creme eggs, I don't need you to sulkily ask me if I want a bag. No, I'm going to inhale them right here, bitch. Put the chocolate in the bag and shut up. And don't give me that crap about how you can't open your till. I know you can and I need some change for the laundry!
I also bought some tinfoil containers because I'd bought stuff to make my famous (read: ripped of from Jean Pare) Cheesy Hamburger Casserole. And I wanted to freeze some.
So I got home and made my faux/lasagne and settled in to watch Extreme Home Makeover, eat chocolate and pet my cat. And the rest of y'all can stop snickering, becuase I know you do that shit too. Anyway, I had eaten, like, two marshmallow eggs, the caramilk egg and had peeled the foil off the creme egg and juuuuussssssst about put it in my mouth when I started to get that: "Ughagghhhhh" feeling of my youth like when my grandparents would take us to the tiny town my grandpa grew up in and we'd traipse down the one road to the candy store and buy a brown bag full of candy for a dollar and we'd eat it all right away, even though it was supposed to last all week. Oh, Candy lipstick! Where have you gone!?
Anyway, I don't mind telling you that the candy today was a big, counter-productive mistake because I went for a long run today. Around the river behind my house. It's gotta be a couple of miles at least. I'm currently working, at the pace of a snail, towards running for one minute, walking for two minutes three times a week for one week. When I'm done that, it'll be walk one, run one, then we'll move on to run two, walk one. And so on and so forth. Right now, my muscles are screaming and I'm very tired and I really do want to go to sleep, because that's where I'm a viking.
tube: Tomorrow, I'm off work and I am happy because it means I'll be home to see Corner Gas.
text: Ted Williams' biography.
tunes: Hot Hot Heat - Get In Or Get Out.
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