You've got:
The one that got away.
The loopy, crying, totally-not-on-drugs judge who may or may not have slept with the author or maybe it was the back-up plan she slept with, considering her crying jag when he was booted recently.
Then there's the not-at-all-gay-seeming-classical-boy-band-brought-to-you-by-not-at-all-gay-seeming-Judge-Simon-Cowell.
And don't forget the coke fiend.
Woah! Wait a minute, Harold! The only reason you're still here is they can't kick your law-breaking, coke-fiend ass off because the wifebeater who looks like a lock to win the whole thing was already granted immunity cause, hello! They need one fat kid in the finals! It's just that America is supposed to agree with the Judges and vote the fat person out, Goddamnit! Not vote for their own amusement!
So, uh, you in the states? You should totally vote for the worst. Because Scott Savol is truly the Idol America deserves. Oh no, don't even try to argue. We already got ours. A forgettable hipster dude and an exceedingly polite, shy, buffalo rancher.
And, in the end, if you refuse to vote for Scott, don't worry.
Either you'll vote in a coke fiend, a wife beater, Clay Aitken II - The Blondening, a bland, boring Barbie Doll who should really be begging to leave so as not to be in this company, or, OR! I win our office pool.
No matter WHAT you do, we all win! Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
I love the Super Nanny, Jo Frost. I LOVE her. Watching these kids on this show, it is unfucking believable. They're out of control and, HOLY HELL, annoying! Everybody needs a super nanny to teach them how to rear and discipline their children. You know, just so they don't hit you in the face and call you a bitch.
Orlando Bloom: So you're good with a bow and arrow and most likely a broad sword. Question: are you, in fact, from another time? Is this the reason you have never been in a modern movie where you aren't weilding weapons? Just curious. Why don't you come over for some wine? We'll discuss it!
From her IMDB Bio entry: "I think every little girl dreams about her wedding. I used to think I was going to marry Tom Cruise."
Just because you dreamed it when you were twelve doesn't mean it should happen in real life, Joey! You thought you and Dawson would end up together and then, WHAM! Pacey!
Anyway, I am pretty sure that's a sign that you're too famous. When your dreams literally start to come true. Wait! What am I saying? Please, Katie! Don't marry him! This is just fucking gross, okay? He's a scientologist! Just stop! Step away from the Cruise! He's a magic man! He's wrong and... WRONG! Do you want to be dating Matthew McConaughey next? Well? DO YOU? Sigh. Don't answer that.
0 have spoken
