Let me clarify things a little for you. I've been wearing glasses since I was in the fifth grade. I almost forgot what I looked like without them, because I have not had a time in my life where I had my glasses off my face while I could see it clearly. Without my glasses, I'm a blind, stumbling mess.
I never got contacts because I've always kinda thought I looked better with glasses. So I somehow went almost 14 years without stumbling into contact lenses. All my friends got them in high school. They got coloured contacts, they got daily contacts, they got in trouble if they lost their contacts.
I asked my folks for contacts once, not really caring whether or not I got them. My dad kinda made a face like "why would you want those?" And I was like "Uh... sports?" Once upon a time, I was quite the jock, with the baseball and the volleyball and the... that's pretty much it, actually. I tried track but then I realized that meant, you know, running. And the family vacations to the west coast where I got to surf were always fun, but for some reason, we stopped going when I was in Grade 6. Which is when I got my glasses. So I've never surfed without my glasses because I haven't been in a long, long time.
My friend Cher finally convinced me that (her words, not mine) "Surfing is scary enough, don't you think you should have contacts so you can, you know, see?"
She had a point there. A better point than my mom who asked "are you going to write your name on your leg so that when they find the pieces of you, they'll know to come find me?" She was never keen on surfing.
So now that I have them, I hate them. I got these newfangled "accu-vu advanced" contacts. Whatever that means. Apparently, my eyes are advanced. I have a really high prescription, but low stigmatism, so I didn't need fancy contacts, but the contact place I went to (Which I will not mention by name, but rhymes with, uhhh, Choppers.... Choptical.) the optician was like "You need these!"
Me: Why?
Her: They have better technology.
Me: But I thought...
Her: You NEED THESE.
Me: But... Why?
Her: ...They're more expensive.
Me: Thanks for your honesty. I guess I have no choice but to get what you tell me to get, huh?
Her: Right. '
Me: Okaaaay then!
I did manage to only get a three month supply though. She wanted me to go for six, but I was like "Look, sister, I've never worn these stupid things before and I highly doubt I'll like them very much. I need them for surfing and then, I think I'll be going back to glasses full time." She backed off. I'm sure she saw that I wasn't real happy parting with my dough for reasons that didn't involve drinking large quantities of alcohol that come in pints or new CDs/computer gadgets.
So yay. Now I have contacts and, as I mentioned, they suck.
First of all, it takes me FOREVER to get them in. They roll up like pill bugs, they get schmutz on them, they don't go in my eye. They stick to my finger and not my eyeball. Oh! Oh! Did I mention the part that I disregard years and years of healthy advice when I STICK SOMETHING DIRECTLY INTO MY EYE REPEATEDLY?
Yeah. I hate that. And once they're in, they're annoying as hell. My eyes are dry and I had to go buy re-wetting drops to put in my eyes, which is also fun. Plus, my job entails staring at a computer screen for approximately eight hours a day. Then I go home and stare at this computer screen for a little bit. And while I'm not staring at a computer screen, I'm staring at a television or movie screen or reading, which is also kind of strenuous on the ol' eyeballs.
Plus, when I first put them in and looked in the mirror, holy crap! Everything is, like, ten times bigger! Including my head! And my head is pretty goddamn big to begin with! But everything looks bigger, obviously because the lense is thinner and much, much, much closer to your eye. It's strange having good peripheral vision too. I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye. It's making me jumpy. For example: AUGH! What was that! What was that! Oh. The cat. Right. Lather, rinse, repeat. I don't know why I'm surprised, it's always the cat. He's sneaky for a big cat.
So I need to go in for a check up next week to see if they fit properly. I plan on complaining bitterly about the fact that she gave me these newgfangled lenses when I didn't need them and neglected to give me a trial pair. Bitch.
I am not liking this bit of ocular annoyance. I don't get why people think contacts are more convenient. Like, what could be more convenient than putting your glasses on your face? Answer: NOTHING!
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