Don't worry. The Chairman is still alive and kicking. But if your cat suffers from the above affliction, you have my sympathy.
What Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease (FLUTD) means is a lot of straining to pee, followed by licking of the sackless area that once contained balls, followed by more peeing, followed by leaving a puddle of pee right in front of the fridge where your owner is sure to find it at midnight when she wants a drink of water.
It will cost you a whole lot of money to take care of this little problem starting at the diagnosis. The vet will likely say something like "Sounds like this. Let's order some tests." At which point you should interject "Why don't we skip the tests and just assume that's what's wrong with him since he, you know, has every single one of the symptoms you've listed?"
After all, it's not like the cure (Expensive food. For life.) can kill him.
It will also likely happen that this disease will strike at the end of the month. When you are waiting for your rent cheque to come out so you can take the remaining pittance to the bank to pay bills and loans. It helps if you have nice, understanding landlords who actually come up to you while you are waiting for your cab to the vet and ask what's going on and say things like: "Don't worry about rent until your next paycheque!" and "Can we drive you to the vet?"
In the long run, there's nothing wrong with the Chairman Meow that $300 and expensive food won't fix.
It's a good thing I have no social life and therefor, no chance of getting pregnant by accident, because whenever I think to myself "Goddamn this cat is expensive" I follow it up with a "Geez. Kids would be even worse, I bet."
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If you're wondering why I haven't updated in over a month, I'll tell you.
I blame it on my upbringing.
No. Really, it's because I fucked up my home computer to the point of no return. God bless spyware. And porn. Gotta love that porn. Cat porn.
There. That should up the level of freaks who get here by googling words and phrases that would make your average prude blush. For the record, the most frequent is "sex with your mom" followed closely by "how much do shrooms cost." I fully expect "cat porn" to oust both for the top spot. Sorry to disappoint you, you freaknasty freaks. Not really. I thrive on the knowledge that I'm disappointing all you sick fucks.
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tube: Gilmore Girls in reruns. I'm not the only one who thinks Dean is a total simp, right? I mean, I don't blame Rory for kissing Jess. He's much cooler. Oh, and Logan? Also a loser. This girl has horrible taste in guys.
tunes: Dane Cook's Retaliation is so funny I could pee in my pants right now. The opening itchy asshole bit alone would be worth the price of this double disc with a DVD. Sweet! Now I'll get hits from the phrase "itchy asshole!"
text: I am book free right now, but I have been promised a borrowing phase for Spanking the Donkey.
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