And who the hell am I to disappoint? I'm perhaps a day late, but come on! I was up late last night after laying out pages having to do with the Golden Globes and... I think I got a contact buzz just looking at pictures of those lushes.
Here ya go: Evie + green dress = good. Ellen Pompeo + food = apparently not good since she looked like a walking skeleton wrapped in a funeral shift. Johnny Depp + water = why? As in, why does a man of such incredible hotness insist upon making himself look as ugly as possible? And why does this not matter to me at all? I mean, who are we kidding here folks? I'd fuck Johnny Depp if he were covered in weeping sores. Alanis + blonde = nooooooooo! Geena Davis + sassiness = I missed you Geena Davis, call me! Gwyneth + pregnancy = pretentiously pronouncing Anthony Hopkins' name ANTONY. Just give birth already and name it legume or something. Zach Braff + Me = True Love. Call me Zach! (But not before 8:30. That's when Geena's calling me.)
Okay. My head hurts from the pretty, so let's talk about something else. I know! Let's talk about the election!
For those who don't know, Canada is about to have a national election. Here's what I wanna say about the election: Let's do it. Let's go out, let's buy some Nike shoes and let's vote on this motha. I'm not about to guess what's going to happen. Especially since, if the words "Conservative Majority" ever cross my lips in public, I feel compelled to spit on the ground immediately after saying it. Basically because I like public health care, approve of gay marriage and the right to choose.
I think I know who I'm voting for, so I've been avoiding most of the campaigns. It's impossible to avoid everything though. So let's ease up on the negative ads. Let's just go to the polls and let's get it over with so we can have another minority government which will surely be overthrown as soon as politically possible.
In other news, I am dumb. I signed up to run a 10K relay in July. There will probably be lots of time for me to learn how to run well enough and fast enough to complete this in a reasonable amount of time.
But right now? I want to diiiiiiieeeeeee.
I got some new shoes last week and waited until the slop outside started to dry up a little bit.
And today, I went out for a run. Let's just get this straight right now. I am not a good runner. I am ass at running. After about the first kilometre, I am a mess. My legs are weak and wobbly (and jiggly) and my nose is... well, there's mucous. And I spit every few feet and my breathing is, I'm sure, all wrong.
And now, I have a horrendous headache that won't go away. I always used to think it was because I wear my hair in a pony tail when I run. Apparently, it has more to do with the amount of water you drink before and after a run.
I don't know. At any rate, my head is pounding and I feel less like running and more like laying in bed and having somebody peel me grapes. And the muscle pain hasn't even set in yet! Hooray! Something to look forward to!
Anyway, I'm out.
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Tube: Conan
Text: The Tipping Point. I'm hoping it will give me some insight as to why Converse sneakers are almost $30 more expensive than they were only two years ago. You asshole hipsters are ruining things for us cheap bastards who bought them because they were inexpensive.
Tunes: Local boy Chad Van Gaalen's Echo Train, tempered with Pure Mania by The Vibrators.
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