A messy entry! With discussion of my creepy obsessions!

2006-06-01, 10:40 p.m.

So you guys probably noticed this place was getting kind of musty with disuse. It had a thin layer of dust on it. Somebody wrote Wash Me along the top and there were cat footprints all over the retro entries section.

I didn't want to make some "I am bored of it all" statement for everybody to read and mourn as I steadfastly refused to post. I have noticed that some very high profile bloggers who I admire are packing it in because of personal issues or family/coworkers finding their blogs.

I don't know if any of my coworkers or family members have found my blog, but I'm going to guess by the general lack of people I know COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT on me for no reason whatsoever, that they have not. This saddens me. What do I have to do to earn their ire?

I know! I'll talk about my new, disturbing obsession! It really borders on creepiness, actually. I realized the other day that I am getting old enough to be attracted to younger men.

I mean, they're just so fit and cute and hot! And... somebody just arrest me because I should really probably not be let out on my own when it's spring and there are all these cute, muscular young guys looking hot. They're everywhere! Even on TV! Like on Veronica Mars! Logan! Hot and damaged! The same age as my younger brother. Dick! Young, stupid! Hot! Young! Beaver! Er, I mean, Cassidy! Hot! And REALLY damaged! And evil! And at LEAST two years YOUNGER than my brother!

Somebody stop me. Because I feel dirty. So, so dirty. Ahem. Uhhh... dirt. Spring cleaning? Yeah. That's what I was talking about before this turned into me lusting after people my baby brother's age.

Anyway, it was getting messy around here, so I did what anybody else would have done. I wiped the thin layer of dust off with my hand (then wiped my hand on my pants) and threw some money at the problem.

Now, I have a fancy, sparkly, gold membership. So that means my comments are working again.

So you can all ridicule me for going to see the Da Vinci Code last week. Bad. Soooo bad. Except Sir Leigh Teabing. He was cheesily awesome. But I think I just like saying Teabing. The next pet I get? Is totally getting named Teabing.

You can also make fun of how this weekend, I am going to go see X-Men III and I KNOW, Brett Ratner, right? Okay. I know! But STILL! X-Men! My favourite comic book nerdery! Seriously. My most prized possession when I was 13 was a copy of Spider-Man where Ghost Rider made an appearance and a copy of Wolverine where Gambit was heavily featured. I kept those motherfuckers in plastic and turned the pages with tweezers when I read them. I, uh, haven't totally outgrown the desire to gain mutant powers which I will then use to crush my enemies like bugs. Oh, and save people who need saving.

But at least my desire to see crappy movies hasn't extended to that one with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves where they're living two years apart or something. That's... At least her movie about falling in love with the brother of her fiance who was in a coma who wasn't really her fiance was actually, you know, POSSIBLE. Seriosly. It looks like the people writing romantic comedies are out of ideas for how to keep two people who are destined to be together apart. It's so bad that now, they have to make them live in different times. Which I thought was already made into a movie starring Meg Ryan and Hugh Jackman in one of his non-Wolverine and therefore terrible, roles.

Um, GROW-EZZZZZ!

I just saw a KFC commercial where a dude orders a bunch of disgusting food together. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn and gravy. With cheese. Wow. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth, swallowed that vomit. It probably tasted better than the bowl of fried crapulence they're serving up at KFC.

But I shouldn't talk. I just polished off a plate piled high with chinese food. Yummy!


Tube: The Office marathon. Dear. Sweet. Lord. It makes me angry to see Pam continually reject Jim the way she does. Because that NEVER happens in real life. When women see Jims, they snatch them up quick and never let them go. Then, I'm gonna watch the ER with John Stamos as a hot paramedic. Because he is HOT, OKAY? Still! Also, I'm watching the first season of Joan of Arcadia from a, um, place online where I, uh... got it totally legally. And... it is good. And I'm not just saying that because God is a hot, teenage boy sometimes. (Remember? Younger men from above? Yeah.)
Text: Christopher Moore's A Dirty Job which is fantastic and funny and completely wrong in all the right ways.
Tunes: A mix tape I made for a club I belong to. I have to mail it out tomorrow, as well as a package for a good friend who's going through a rough time. I miss you, friend and I hope you're well!



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