I really love watching sports like tennis and soccer - sorry rest of the world, football. Not because I think the people who play these sports are great athletes (I'm sure they are) or because it's a thrill a minute, but because Holy FUCK, do they ever have great legs and asses!
That's right. I like watching men run around in shorts. In a world that worships the perfect, thin, busty, female form in or out of a swimsuit, I don't think it's such a terrible thing that I occasionally get up early on Saturday mornings to watch Premiere League soccer just to ogle the fine specimens of males who spend all their time running around and shaking their taut asses at me.
I also love watching these sports because they look so damn EASY! I know they're not easy, but when somebody spikes a serve into the net at a tennis match, I scoff. Like I could do better. My inner monologue while watching tennis goes something like:
"Look at that! I could do that! Hit a ball, hit a ball, hit a ball.... hit a ball really hard. Grunting. Yeah. I could do this. These guys are total wusses."
Then, a few minutes later, I get tired simply WATCHING all the running and get up to take a little nap.
I am a fine specimen of athlete for sure. Shit. Just WRITING about this is making me tired. I wish I had another two hours before I had to go to work so I could have a nap.
I tell you what I'd watch: A channel devoted to champion napping. I might even be able to compete in a sport like that. Hell, I could MEDAL in it.
I'd get up from a nap, have some cereal, then yawn and the spectators would roar in approval! The announcers would be like "I think she's going to try for another nap! She is! She's climbing into bed! I can't believe this!"
I would do it too.
Tunes: Essex Green's Cannibal Sea is pretty fan-damn-tastic. It's topping my list of best pop rock album so far this year.
Text: Chuck Palanhiuk's Haunted, which scared the SHIT out of me last night when I put it on my nightstand, turned off the light and realized the cover (a ghostly spectre) was glowing in the dark. I am not kidding when I tell you I got up, turned the light on and took the book out into the living room so I would be able to sleep.
Tube: Season 1 of the Wire, Season 1 of Dead Like Me, Season 2 of Arrested Development. BitTorrent is fucking amazing.
