A long winter's nap

2006-12-21, 12:14 a.m.

It's that special time of the year again!

Yes, it's the night before I leave for home on a very long bus ride to get home in time to open presents and drink and eat and be very merry indeed.

It's time for my annual "Hey, it's not like I've got anything better to do. Like pack or clean or knit that scarf which my mom is going to be REAL impressed with when she opens HALF of it." post.

But this year, I wasn't sure if I was going to make it home. In fact, I absolutely knew I wasn't going to make it home. Me drinking nog and various liqueurs in my apartment alone on Christmas Eve was a certainty. Well, alone except for Mr. Whiskers. That only works if you say it with a really pronounced lisp. Like Mishter Whishkers.

And then, my boss quit and all hell broke loose at work and this somehow, magically, translated to some time off for me. And that, my friends, is greatness. I guess, when two department heads quit in one week, they like to try and keep the rest of the cattle from bolting out of the gate.

So I get to go home, which makes me very happy indeed. But, uh, don't tell my Grandpa because it's a surprise. Nobody tell him about this site! Come to think of it, nobody tell him about the Internet either. It'll just confuse him.

My coming home makes my mom less happy since she just spent a lot of money mailing me a very heavy, very big package filled with baking (she's fattening me up to eat me) and presents and cash monay. Oh, and more baking. So I opened them all today like a total shit.

And I am certainly not complaining about my haul in cash and prizes (Slippers, which I needed, pyjama pants, which you can never have enough of, and, okay, a really ugly shirt I plan on taking back) but my mom needs to discover the magic of gift cards. And that she can buy said gift cards online. Of course, I spent two hours on the phone with my mom navigating the IKEA site last weekend and she giggled every time she touched the mouse and the cursor moved, so you know. I don't think that will happen anytime soon.

DO tell my mom about this site and the Internet. Tell her I like books, TV, movies and music and value them above all else and gift cards or magazine subscriptions or.... seriously. ANYTHING will ALWAYS be better than a velour-ish shirt, mom. Always.


(Special Aron Klein edition!)
Tube: Look people. It's time to face the facts as I make them up. If you are not watching the Colbert Report, you are D-U-M dumb. And that's just the straight up truthiness. Stephen Colbert salutes you.
Text: I don't like to be pretentious and list books nobody's ever heard of. So I will say that DaVinci Code is a real page turner! (You wonder how far you can take sarcasm on the Internet. I guess we'll see. In the meantime, do yourself a favour and read Christopher Moore's A Dirty Job.)
Tunes: It's the end of a another year and I really think we should all buy Danny Michel's new CD Valhala, Hawksley Workman's old, but awesome Christmas CD Almost a Full Moon, the Be Good Tanyas' new disc Hello Love and anything by anyone professing that girl-group sound: The Pipettes and the Dansettes, specifically.
hyper-text: No, seriously. SRSLY. How can you even be ON the Internet without finding a youtube link to D*ck in a Box by Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg? That shit is just WRONG!


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