Retro Chic

The Archives

2008-09-01: Egg salad sandwiches are gross

2007-11-30: Old and out of shape.

2007-11-28: Not dead. Just, you know, FYI.

2007-07-06: If the shoe fits . . .

2007-05-10: Face it, facebook is full of jerks you hated in high school.

2007-04-16: Life out of balance

2007-04-12: Moving on

2007-03-22: That's enough, John Mayer.

2007-02-05: Times they are a changin'

2007-01-05: If your heart surrenders you'll need me to hold

2006-12-21: A long winter's nap

2006-11-26: If you give a mouse a plush alligator ... he's going to want to shit all over it.

2006-10-06: I have boobs. I watch the tube. A lot.

2006-09-30: Crunching through the leaves in my new school shoes!

2006-09-25: I make no apologies. Except I'm really sorry about this entry.

2006-08-15: See You Later

2006-07-05: I would win the gold medal for napping.

2006-06-01: A messy entry! With discussion of my creepy obsessions!

2006-05-29: Call me, John Krasinski! I mean that!

2006-04-11: Face facts: Rob Thomas rocks. Hard.

2006-03-31: Talk about Desperate! Man! Ryan Seacrest!

2006-03-22: America gets the Idol it deserves

2006-03-10: A treatise on cabbies, breasts and sex

2006-03-09: Did you google me? I googled you.

2006-02-05: When I'm 64? Shit, Paul! How about now?

2006-01-31: The Case Against Jen

2006-01-28: I am part of the problem

2006-01-18: Golden Globes + Me Running = Giant Headache

2006-01-05: The Oscars will now be known as Osama's homo-bortion-pot-and-commie-jizzporium

2006-01-02: Lies and the lying liars who tell them #1 - Hung up

2005-11-23: Here is one big bastard of a check, now give me some of your Christ-ing money!

2005-11-11: I ride a looooong bus, baby. I ride a train.

2005-10-03: Fall of the house of Usher

2005-09-20: Why can't we have nice things?

2005-09-05: New Orleans is Sinking

2005-08-29: Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease killed the cat

2005-07-27: Yeah, it's been done, but you know what? I'm sick. Deal with it.

2005-07-16: Yipee Kiyay, motherfucker!

2005-06-29: They're here. They're queer. They're getting married and Canada is invited!

2005-06-19: My eyes are blind I cannot see

2005-06-17: Unhappy premise #3: Even though Tom Cruise feels like he might ignite, he probably won't.

2005-06-07: Why I Hate Celebrities: Part the sixth.

2005-06-06: Do you want a cookie?

2005-05-19: I'm getting sleeeeeepeeeee. Veeerrrry sleeeepeee.

2005-05-16: I want to be tan, not orange

2005-05-09: Maury, I am 200% sure Gary the father of my baby!

2005-05-09: Roving postage stamp!

2005-05-06: Celebrity Letters, Vol. 2: Come hither, for I hate thee with much ire.

2005-04-29: Ain't no time for Idol threats

2005-04-24: Running to a standstill

2005-04-19: I'b sdill sick. Ugh.

2005-04-18: In which I complain about CSI: Miami. Again.

2005-03-28: Patty's eyes.

2005-03-28: Sweet tooth, creme egg tooth. Same diff.

2005-03-25: Please don't lick anybody's ass, Pat O'Brien. That's just gross.

2005-03-10: Fametracker: The Final Reckoning

2005-03-06: Geek Chic: MIAMI

2005-03-01: Inside Oscar's brain.

2005-02-22: Fear and Loathing in the Laundry Room

2005-02-17: Mediawhores R Us

2005-02-11: I Dream of Sethy

2005-01-23: Everybody funny. Now you funny too.

2005-01-21: Lick my bum!

2005-01-19: Yum. Boil me up some sheep stomach!

2005-01-18: Saddle up my hoss. . .

2005-01-13: I'm old and this is disjointed. But the two are unrelated.

2005-01-01: Love and Peace. Or ELSE.

2004-11-27: Nasal drip. Sinus shift. Nanus drift. Heh. Nanus.

2004-11-18: Why I currently have a tension headache

2004-11-05: Dear America. . .

2004-10-21: Stop me if you've heard this one...

2004-10-11: What's so civil 'bout war anyway?

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