I've heard that he's gotten about six calls about me from people wanting to hire me. And I told him yesterday thanks, but no thanks. That I wanted this break, and then I would take my time looking for a job I like in a place I enjoy being, not some other tiny, sucky town. Newbie says I shouldn't even ask him what cities or anything because it will tempt me and that I should take this time off and make the most of it. And I will. By sleeping in every, single morning. And going for walks. And taking pictures. And working on my freelance stuff, which will mean having a definite schedule and sticking to it. And refinishing some furniture. And other things I've really wanted to do a lot but haven't been able to do because of this shitty job.
I was driving to work this morning after a hearty breakfast of milk that might be expired and a stale English muffin, and thinking to myself that I really like it when it's sunny, and that part of my depressing, depressing problem, might have been that we basically live underground.
Booker and I aren't exactly living in a basement suite, but it is pretty dark. My plants still manage to absorb enough sunlight through the miniblinds that they don't die, but every time I come out of the house, and there's all this sunlight, I blink and rub my eyes and stumble around like I'm some kind of mole-person or something. It's like a cave. It's a cozy cave, but a cave, nonetheless.
Newbie and I are making plans to see a movie next Wednesday, since that's when we both get paid, and the secretery has requested our presence at another "girls only" lunch. We'll probably go to Remington's, this fancy, schmancy place upstairs. It's brand new and huge and there's this fantastic view, which is sort of funny, since the view is great, but it's a view of this stink-pot city, so, you know, it's not so much "great view" as it "Wow. That sure is a big ol' window." It's like "Here's the empty factory buildings, and there's the road out of town, ooh! And look! The prison!" But it's nice to have this restaurant because it's the only one in town that doesn't have the phrase "family friendly" in its ads. Because it most definitely is not. Family friendly, that is. This place is swanky. It's so swanky that I'm contractually obligated to pronounce it swank-ay. And I didn't even sign a contract! But because it doesn't allow children, and because their food is superb, I'm going to request that we make reservations there. It is, after all, my farewell dinner.
And newbie and I are going to see Two Weeks Notice. I think I'll like it a lot, because I love Sandy Bullock, and Hugh Grant? Well, I think I've made my intentions concerning him very clear in other entries. (Rrrowr! Call me, Hugh!) But really, part of me is resisting seeing it because of that title. It should read "Two Weeks' Notice" not "Two Weeks Notice."
You have absolutely no idea how annoying that missing apostrophe is to me. It grates my last nerve. It grates like that sliver of cheese you get at the end of grating a big, ol' pile of cheese for an omlette. You know the piece that's too small to grate and too big to pass off as an already grated piece of cheese? Isn't that annoying? I hate the missing apostrophe in the title Two Weeks Notice like I hate that piece of cheese. (Okay, I don't hate that piece of cheese, I eat it. But still. Work with me people!)
Typing the words Two Weeks Notice without the apostrophe makes my fingers ache. They know they should be typing an apostrophe. They agonize over not typing it. Reading it causes me to let out a howl of indignation. (I'm at work, so it's a quiet howl.) Without that apostrophe, my head is going to cave in. I'm going to sit here, thinking about that apostrophe, wondering why the movers and shakers in charge of such tiny little things chose to eschew that simple, grammatical symbol, and eventually, I will go insane.
They'll take me to a padded cell and give me a blunted black crayon, and I'll use it to scribble all over the walls. I'll scribble the words "TWO WEEKS' NOTICE" all over the place. I'll write out the rule for apostrophes over and over again. Do you want to know that rule? It's very simple:
In this case, the apostrophe indicates possession. Even with time. The "week" deserves to have the apostrophe because it is a notice of two weeks. As does the movie A Hard Day's Night.
Also of some consternation to me (and let's face it, if you've read this far, it annoys you too) is the misconception that the words "its" and "it's" are interchangeable. MY GOD! They're so not! Here's the skinny:
If you're ever confused over which one to use, read your sentence out loud, replacing "its" or "it's" with "it is." If it make's sense, then you use it's, which is a contraction for it is. If it doesn't make sense, use its, which is the possessive form of it. An example:
"It's really annoying to find apostrophes maligned."
So you read that out loud, replacing its with it is. You find that it makes sense. You use It's. Another example:
"Give the apostrophe it's due."
Employing our little rule, that would read "Give the apostrophe it is due." Wha? Clearly, you're wrong and you should take out the apostrophe.
There. I feel better now. I feel fine. I feel that I will be able to watch Two Weeks Notice without that annoying facial tick, because I'll know that this entry is here for all to see. I'll know that I've had my tiny bit of revenge on the producers and writers of this film. So I can watch Hugh Grant squirm around on a mattress in hilarious comfort.
But rest assured readers, I will remain vigilent in the apostrophe watch. I will continue my vigilence in checking for blatant apostrophe misuse in every day life and inform you when I come across it. I'm like the masked apostrophe crusader, making the world safe for grammar nazis everywhere.
I am reading: The Watcher's Guide to Buffy Vol. 2. Indespensible when you're currently embroiled in season 2 dvds and hotly anticipating owning season 3.
I am listening to: A tape of an interview I did with Wing Chun. My God, do I really sound like that?
I am watching: 24 - Oh man! President Palmer, sir, I used to think you could take President Sheen in a fight, but now? If Rizzo ever betrayed the POTUS the way LadyMac betrayed you, she'd never see the light of day, let alone be welcomed back into the inner circle with open arms!
I am hating: the way Amazon.com now brings me results I didn't ask for. I went in for books, not hair gel, ya doofs!
I am loving: My TWoP Cigarette Smoking Tubey bunnyhug.
I am looking forward to: Painting my room red when I get home. Fort Awesome won't know what hit it when I get back in town.
0 have spoken
