Saint John, New Brunswick Mayor Shirley McAlary has refused to allow a float proposed by a gay rights group to take part in the city�s annual Santa Claus parade this Saturday.
McAlary said Wednesday night she�s not discriminating against gays and lesbians but trying to keep political statements out of a children�s event.
�The message for a Christmas parade, to me, is all about Santa Claus,� she said. �It�s about hope. It�s about dreams for children.�
McAlary said she doesn�t think gays can claim she is discriminating against them considering she�s raised their flag and read their proclamations in the past.
�It�s a group or organization making a political statement,� she said. �It�s not a personal thing about anyone in this community.�
Saint John has been a gay rights battleground since local MP Elsie Wayne made disparaging remarks about homosexuals last May.
Ahem. If I may. Soooo many things wrong with this. Where to begin?
How about...ooooh, I don't know, here!
�The message for a Christmas parade, to me, is all about Santa Claus,� she said. �It�s about hope. It�s about dreams for children.�
Riiiight. Christmas is all about Santa. I'm not some religious freak or anything, but I do sort of recall that CHRISTmas is about something other than getting a lot of shit under the tree from some elf created by Coke to sell fizzly sody-pop to the masses. So without Santa what is Christmas about? Seems to me that EVERY SINGLE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL EVER seems bent on pointing out that Christmas is about loving and caring and accepting, as the dude whose name is all over this damn holiday once suggested. REMEMBER THAT? No room at the inn, but you can have the stable, watch for the goat, she kicks? No, not ringing a bell? I believe even LINUS, a CARTOON character who carried around a DIRTY BLANKET grasped that one! Jesus wept! No, really, he probably is weeping!
And of course, the children. We can't forget the children. None of whom are subconciously picking anything up from the behaviour and actions of adults in their precious parade. Certainly none of them are gay themselves. Nooooo.
Kids learn by example. They hear about how "It sure was a close thing with those gays. Good thing we kept them from having a float in OUR Santa parade" they learn that not only are gay people different and therefor frightening and wrong, but that straight people somehow OWN Christmas and have a coup on celebrating it.
I'm sure there are a bunch of wrong-headed, crazy-talking, confused little meatballs out there who think that gay people can't be religious or celebrate religious holidays. And that's fine. There's no law against being wrong. Fact of the matter is, there are MANY different ways that people can take the teachings of Jesus. Not for the life of me can I figure out where it says that gay people will burn in hell because Jesus said so. I imagine that many SANE straight people and gay people alike could figure that Jesus pretty much doesn't care who has sex with who, how or in what position (although you gotta figure him for being partial to the missionary) as long as the people in question are consenting adults. Jesus was all about love. I mean, Jesus didn't say "Love your fellow man, but not in that way! Man, that's just wrong and gross and eeew! Stop kissing!"
Damn! I feel like my mom! When I was a kid, she always used my dear departed Grandma as punishment when I'd done something really bad worthy of a scathing lecture. "Oooh! If your grandma were alive today! She would be so embarrassed!" That's what I feel like saying to so-called Christians who are out there all day every day claiming that the good lord almighty hates queers and fags and dykes and wants them to burn in hell with the rest of the sinners. I want to yell "Dudes, if Jesus were here, you would all be in sooooo much trouble!" And I'm a lapsed Catholic who once treated mass like a gas station cause my friend really had to pee, so I really can't be trusted on all this religious church shit. I don't mind the church as a building but as an institution, I find it somewhat lacking.
But enough about religion! On to politics!
�It�s a group or organization making a political statement,� she said. �It�s not a personal thing about anyone in this community.�
First of all, what exactly does she think she's doing? She's certainly not making a political statement by trying to keep gay people out of her precious parade. Is she?
Second, it's not personal? It's not personal? Oh dude! Oh no you di'int! You did NOT just discriminate against a groupd of people based on who they love and then nullify your descriminatory behaviour with that king of parting shots "Nothing personal!" Oh no you did not! It's WAY fucking personal, okay?
I have a theory that whenever somebody says "Nothing personal" whatever those two words followed was absolutely positively of or pertaining to you, a person, and therefor, personal. In this case, it is most certainly personal to anybody who's not a homophobe. Perhaps she means that she personally LOVES the gays! Finds them simply charming! It's just that all these HOMOPHOBES voted for her, and, well, you just can't help who votes for you, can you? You, as a leading politician in your community, certainly can't be expected to, you know LEAD BY EXAMPLE.
I've often tried to get at the heart of homophobia and failed. I just don't understand it at all. So you're attracted to others of your own sex. So? What's the big deal? If a homophobe could ever explain to me exactly WHY this is wrong, then I'd be interested. We could have ourselves a little debate. As it stands, I'm sitting here going "Why is this wrong?" And the people on the other end of it all just scream back "BECAUSE IT JUST IS, OKAY?"
Umm, no, see, I'm going to need a better answer than that. "Because" is not an answer. It wasn't an answer when I was five and wanted to go to Disneyland and my mom kept saying "because" and I kept saying why and so on and so forth until she finally said "Because we don't have enough money." At which point I said "Oh. Okay. I bet Mickey takes Visa though." And it wasn't an answer when I was 12 and Mr. MacDonald asked me why I didn't have my homework done and I said "Because" and he said "Because why?" And I said "Because." And he said. "You're going to die cold and alone and in the gutter if you don't learn integers, so open your book dammit."
So if "because" isn't good enough for small stuff like that, then I ain't following how it's good enough for "Why should we not let a group of people have the same rights that the rest of the country has?"
And also, can we get a little perspective here? Because I'm suddenly feeling very cubist. How can a group of people driving slowly in a truck along a sedate route and tossing candies at other people lined up like goobers to see Cap'n Fatty and his sack of crap ruin the hopes and dreams of children everywhere? How?
I personally feel that if anybody should be banned from taking part in the Santa Parade (or any parade, come to think of it), it should be the Kiwanis. Always pushing people to "get involved" and "do good deeds" and "volunteer." I don't need that kind of pressure! But seriously, if you're going to ban the gays, then ban the Kiwanis too. It makes about as much sense. Or really now, what about the Shriners? Do we want our children driving miniature cars and wearing Fezes? I DON'T THINK SO!
This whole ball of crazy reminds me of the peanut-brain from my adopted hometown who wanted to hold a "Heterosexual Pride Day" which, coincidentally, happened to fall on Gay Pride Day. Oh, ho, ho, nutty, crazy, silly, latently homosexual Billy Nutshot! You foolish man!
You know how when you were little and had to make your mom a potholder or your dad an ashtray on Mother and Father's Day, respectively? You know that? You know how you'd jokingly say "How come there isn't a kid's day?" And your parents would snap "Every day is kid's day!" Well guess what Billy-boy? EVERY DAY IS HETEROSEXUAL PRIDE DAY!
McAlary said she doesn�t think gays can claim she is discriminating against them considering she�s raised their flag and read their proclamations in the past.
Hooo! That's my favourite part!
"You guuuuuuuyyyyys! We let you celebrate like two whole days already this year! I mean, isn't that enough? GAWD! I have to recognize you as people all those other times, but on Christmas too? Nofair!"
Or, alternately:
"Hey, remember all those other times when I was nice to you? Well they totally cancel out now when I'm being a big, homophobic, unfair idiot! Kay? Thanks! Good thing I was so nice to you before, because right now, I'm really going to stick it to ya! And you can't complain because of that other time I was on your side!"
Bottom line, for me anyway, is the message that excluding gay people from ANY event that straight people are allowed to take part in sends to children.
What message is that? Here are the messages (hidden and overt) that I've been able to divest from this little drama.
Gay people are somehow wrong and bad and straight people are BETTER than them and more worthy of celebrating Santa Claus and Christmas and the hopes and dreams of little kids. Too bad if you're a gay kid. Hey gay kids! Santa doesn't love you. Santa only likes straight kids! Don't expect a present under the tree this year, little Scott who has two mommies! Santa doesn't come to the dyke houses on Christmas Eve! If you are gay, SANTA FROWNS ON YOU. And by extension, SOCIETY FROWNS ON YOU. If you are gay, just be quiet. Don't expect to celebrate loudly with the rest as an openly gay person. You can only celebrate with us NORMAL folk if you are quiet and don't make a fuss.
We straight people (the only good people, if you will recall from above) will tolerate you so long as you don't prove that you are JUST. LIKE. US. Only gay.
I am ashamed. So very, very ashamed.
