�That being said, I still like SMG. She's a bitchy diva, but in a deliciously captivating, kind of fabulous old-Hollywood way. I like to imagine her throwing highballs all over the cabana boy at a nice hotel and screaming "Who do you have to fuck to get fresh-squeezed in this dump?! You hear me? FRESH-SQUEEZED! Do I have to pick the fucking oranges myself?! Go onward plebian, fetch me my tanning oil!"
-RaspberryBeret
�I also like my rock, rap and pop stars to be as over the top as possible. None of this humble quiet nonsense. More bling! More limos! More mascara! Faster P.Diddy Kill Kill!
-The 6th Element
�The trailers for this creep me out, because they're edited in such a way that I keep expecting Colin Firth and Amanda Bynes to end up as lovers at the end of the movie. I can just imagine the pre-production meeting:
Producer 1: "So, we need a romantic comedy for the teen market."
Producer 2: "Yeah, with that Bynes girl."
Producer 1: "But how can we kick it up a notch? The romcom genre's getting a little stale."
Producer 2: "I've got an idea so crazy it just might work. How about, instead of a husband, she finds a father!"
Producer 1: "Fantastic! And we can jazz it up by leaving out any incestuous overtones!"
Both: "Cha-ching!"
-StuntedDiva
�I *wish* I could cite a source for this, but I remember reading that male nudity is considered "aggressive" due to the nature of the male member (eg. "OH MY GOD, IT'S COMING RIGHT AT ME!").
-Pachinko
�I love the fact that "Cortez the Killer" was raised vegan. How about "Cortez the Carrot"?"
-Lula Carson
�Actually, according to Judaic tradition, Judaism is passed on from the mother, not the father. I believe that being Canadian, however, requires both parents.
-Marlowe PI (Ed. --He's right.)
�That is so awesome, in a really twisted way. Like I can just picture these two malnourished dimwits trying to pick the lock on the front door with a shard of Lee nail while moaning about how hungie they are.
-Nathaniel on the Barbie Twins
�Where would you even get a frozen gerbil? Health food stores?
-linden on urban legends
(Ed. --Sometimes, there are quotes that tend to be funnier because they play off of each other. Here are some of those.)
�"I try to wait until a celebrity turns 18 before I say anything nasty."
I hereby nominate Ripley for sainthood. Dude, waiting 'til 18 can be SO HARD!
-Lucy Stove
�Trust me, Lucy Stove: it's so much more special if you wait! True Snark Waits!
-Ripley
�"True Snark Waits!"
Hee! I bet [Amanda Bynes] wears a full body snark-suit, like a chastity belt, but for snark!
-Zooby
�"Are you kidding?" Marsters asks. "I would be all about [a spinoff]. Spike is a Cadillac role, man. You don't have to work very hard, but you get all the credit. It's a sweet deal, so if they want to continue paying me really good money and making me look really cool and not working me very hard, I am there."
He is going to be playing Spike until he's 80.
-Statler
�By then he'll be picking up grandmas. James Marsters and Corey Haim chillin' at the fan conventions with their teeth in jars.
-linden
�"...with their teeth in jars."
Selling 'em on Ebay.
-Dr. Cher
�Obviously, pot is not conducive to good sketch comedy. Maybe Fallon and Sanz should take a cue from the original SNL cast and start taking heroin instead.
-Marm
�But then they might overdo-- oh. Ohhhh.
-Little Master.
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