�Liv Moore? It sounds like part of a slogan: Liv Moore, Die Less.
-thumbelle
�Are you kidding? She loves that butt. She thinks that butt is perfect. She thinks the sun shines from out of that butt. She will not only show that butt in public, but she'll slap it, fondle it, cover it in body bling, put it in a bikini, wiggle it around, grab the cheeks and separate them, pick wedgies out of it, stick it up in the air, and have her boyfriend pucker up and kiss it. I think her main intellectual pursuit in life is thinking up ways to publicly glorify her own butt.
-Glitterbug on Jennifer Lopez
�Maybe she can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?
-Miss Anthropy on Jennifer Lopez
�The Mariah Carey stuff is killing me. I can't wait for the Cupcake and Barbie Doll cds to hit the streets. But not before the Shiny Objects LP.
-The 6th Element
�Yeah, Mariah Carey can talk to dolphins, but all dolphins ever say when they're around her is "Yip! Yip! Yip! Bitch is crazy! Let's go get some fish, yo!"
-Zooby
�I shudder to think about what my theatre-going experience will be like in 15 years:
ROBO-USHER: One for Legally Crunked? Sir, that will be 200 dollars.
ME: (grumbling)...I remember when it was only 150. Don't tell me she's going to marry the sleazy ex-fianc�e lawyer who stole the black girl's choreography...Oh my God! It turns out they're all dead! I didn't see that coming!
-Paolo & Kujawa
�Was anyone else waiting for Maury to say, "Well, Debbie, we tested the kids' DNA... and Michael, you are NOT the father!" Then Debbie runs backstage, crying hysterically, while MJ jumps around saying "Hells yeah bitch those kids ain't mine! I told you!" No?
-Barbie�s Pal Midge on Crazy Michael Jackson
�So...never had plastic surgery, huh? Well, someone needs to tell Michael to stop pouring sulfuric acid on his face.
-Sassy Black Neighbor on Crazy Michael Jackson
�I mean, yes, it's ridiculous to say one more time that the man is crazy, but the more we see, the more it's obvious that it's layer after layer after layer of crazy, and they all shift around and reposition all the time.
-Lula Carson on Crazy Michael Jackson
�Won't somebody tell him about his hair?! It's like a Velveeta wig.
-MadSketcher on Joe Millionaire
�Mojo. When she got the fencing hat, I thought she was gonna cream herself. I squealed. And when the bitches laughed at her hot mama hat in front of her? I was a little sad for her. But I was back to laughing with her puzzle (�I choose you!�) and �poetry.� �I feel butterflies of passion/hot mama hats are always in fashion/I wear my heart on my navel/I bear it to you/I glitter with joy/You will be my boy/I write the checks/I want your sex/Let�s go to Hooters/Fear not, for clean is my cooter.�
-vegasbaby
�Come on now, people, Melissa's date was really romantic. She wore bright white gauch under a red dress, there was graphic foot-fungus chat, the sun setted... truly magical.
-Little Master
�It's so wonderful how he's so honest (dumb) and it's so wonderful how all the women are even dumber - like they didn't even get the slightest bit turned off/worried/suspicious that he didn't know his address or his middle name. Aw.
-balderdash on Joe Millionaire.
�Besides, with the news of Stipey tapping Jane Pratt? It will be a long while before I can listen to REM and not hear the sound of a barrel being scraped.
-lady_b
�I love January; it's where bad films go to die!
mimsy18
�You wouldn't believe the looks of disbelief I get from nice, conventional women when I mention that I never watch Lifetime or any "programming for women." Sheesh, girls, lighten up! It's not like I've turned my back on our sex or anything! I still ovulate...I swear!
-Portia
�I heard that Madonna is calling her new album Ein Sof. It's due out in April and includes tracks called "Kaddish," "Praise Be to G-D" and "Feel Me Up."
-Pachinko
�I have been sleeping with Tom Cruise for the past ten years. The moldering corpse of L. Ron Hubbard just likes to watch.
-The Ukulele King
�Also, I think he's sexy. Yeah, I said it. He's charismatic, in a lazy bastard sort of way. Trust me, he is. Like, he's probably a jerk who used to (or so he claims) smoke weed all day and play PlayStation 2 in his underwear and you can't bring none of your friends home from work because he keeps the house messy, and you're like, "Damn, Snoop, why can't you get a damn job? So lazy. With your fine self."
-Rogue Pimp on Snoop Dog.
�FOX is so my boyfriend who's really, really good in the sack, but when I wake up in the morning, he's gone and there are dishes in the sink and a few DVDs are missing.
-Scribe
