I don't get it. I don't get how some politicians, like the mayor of Chicago can be smart about it and say "Look, I don't see why they can't get married, I mean they love each other just as much as anybody else, right? And don't even talk about the sanctity of marriage, and how this is ruining it, cause divorce did that a long time ago, friends. Don't talk to me about gay people 'ruining' marriage."
Good for him. I don't get how idiots like George Bush can talk about how marriage means one man and one woman and that's that and then, in the same breath, decry those "activist judges" that would define marriage. As if you didn't just do the same thing. So what? Presidents define marriage now? Who is the president to tell gay people they can't be happy?
Living, as I do, in a bumfuck backwards city in the middle of the bible belt of Alberta, where nobody ever does anything wrong or cheats on their wife or defrauds the company or kicks puppy dogs, no sir, I have encountered many people who seem perfectly normal in every other respect, but they just wish those gay people would quieten down and not stir up trouble.
Can we not look at this sanely for a moment? How similar do those arguments sound to the ones that kept blacks enslaved and women in the kitchen and out of the polling stations?
Equal rights mean equal. The same as. Not "okay, we won't beat the crap out of them, but they better not get cheeky about wanting to, you know, be public about it."
I guess that's what really burns me about this issue. The fact that gay people are okay to be gay as long as they don't offend all the straight people. Who are, of course, much, much better than the gay people. Simply because they're more "normal." Uh-huh.
A man I know and respect for his humour, good sense, and homemade cinnamon buns, once said to me, in all seriousness "I don't know, Tanis. I just wish that they'd keep to themselves. I don't need to see two men kissing. I've got kids, after all."
I managed to bite back the wail that almost escaped my lips, but just barely. I asked him what he'd do if one of his children came to him and said "Dad, I'm gay." He looked horrified.
Are we that backwards that things like this still scare us? How can we be? Are we just kidding ourselves with shows like Will and Grace and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and *cringe* Queer as Folk? Are they blackface for a new minority? "Ha-ha! Lookit the gay people! So funny! Ho-ho-ho-ha! We're so amused! Dance for us, gay monkeys!"
And our government is this close to making it legal to be gay and married!
British Columbia cabinet minister Ted Nebbeling was married to his partner of 32 years last November. He told the press a few weeks ago. The story ran on the front page of the newspaper I work at. I ask you how a 59-year-old man marrying another man whom he has been with for 32 years anyway can cause so many people to go "eeeeewwww!" People! They've been together for 32 years! That's a long damn time! If anybody should be married, it should be them! We should all fucking celebrate a marriage that lasts that long! Britney Spears should take notes! Darava Conger should ask to goddamn apprentice under his tutelage! But of course, people were offended. Nebbeling was quietly dropped from cabinet the very next day. Where did that story run? Back page, bottom paragraph. Something like that. The premier said it had nothing to do with the nuptials. I hope it didn't, but I kinda think it might have.
I've been watching the photo wires as news of San Francisco's gay weddings have been coming in. Who are these big, bad, scary gays and lesbians who are making it official? Threatening the sanctity of marriage, as it were?Two girls in college sweatshirts, ponytails and glasses. A woman in a tuxedo and another in a white dress. Two men wearing ball jackets. An elderly couple in three piece suits. They all beamed for the camera. Proud to be declaring their love. Proud to be making history. If you find that offensive, then I guess you should get a case of Evian, a shot-gun, and hunker down in your bunker, waiting for the end. Cause armaggedon's a comin', friend and it's gonna be accompanied by the Fab Five from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on gleaming white steeds while techno music plays in the background and the guests twirl their same-sex marriage partners around and sprinkle gay pixie dust on you. Run! Head for the hills!
But I digress.
What I hope people take from the San Francisco weddings, from Ted Nebbeling, and all the rest, is that it IS normal! It is not freaky or wild or strange. They're two men or two women who are saying "You know what, honey? I love you and only you and I think we should make a gesture." I hope it's taken in stride.
Arnold has come out on the side of California law, which says all this is illegal. I look forward to the movie version where hundreds of thousands of gays and lesbians take on the Terminator with a glare and a bouquet. Just imagine! Arnie shows up at the nuptials of Sarah Stussmeyer and Claire McDonald and Claire, a wee slip of a thing in a white dress and veil, turns with a happy grin only to find the Terminator standing before her.
"I cannot abide by this," he says. "You are breaking the law." She takes no notice of him, turns again, calls out "Terminate this!" and tosses her bouquet. Thousands of lesbian girls clamouring to be next in line for wedded bliss storm him and he turns and runs away screaming like a little girl.
Ahhhh....
One day, one day soon, we will look back on this and say "What was the big deal?" Just as we look back on the abolution of slavery, abortion, divorce, and women having the vote.
You might not have liked some of the above things. Odds are that great big groups of people didn't like them when they happened. But guess what? You just got to deal with it, pops! Times, they are a changin'.
Nah mean?
"Live and let live? What kind of philosophy is that? It means that if I agree not to tell you I'm a homosexual, you agree not to beat the crap out of me."-A gay rancher, the Laramie Project
