Okay. Enough of that. I am sick, but typing like that is making me ill.
I just watched CSI: Miami. Twice in a row. You know you're sick when...
Yeah. Through the magic of time zones and technology, my friend and I watched it together. But I live in Southern Alberta and he lives in Southern California. For that reason, we shall call him Spicoli.
The impetus for this chat was basically that CSI: Miami was on and we couldn't stop watching it. Mainly because David Caruso's black, black lizard eyes suck you into the souless void of hell where you watch CSI: Miami FOREVER.
Spicoli: David Caruso sure is a dramatic bitch, ain't he?
Zooby: This would be an almost good show if it weren't for him.
Spicoli: I really don't know why I watch it.
Zooby: I used to watch because of Rory Cochrane's character.
Spicoli: Maybe it's the busty Cuban chick.
Zooby: But now he dead. Hmmm, this lab tech is kinda hot. For a nerd.
Spicoli: I've not seen this one, but there's no way you could hook up with someone that hott via text messaging.
Zooby: As if text messaging is used like that!
Spicoli: I wish I had $1 for every dramatic pause he makes. I'd be a kajillionaire.
Zooby: I wish I had $1 for every sentence that came out of his mouth phrased like a question. I'd be a bazillionaire, wouldn't I?
Zooby: God! He's restraining himself this week. Every single sentence he says could go like this: Weren't you? Was he? Aren't you? Won't you?
Zooby: FUCK YOU!
Spicoli: Lance Armstrong is the killer?
Zooby: No, that's the dude who supposedly killed Caine's brother.
Spicoli: TIN MAN?
Zooby: Yes! Oh God. We watch this show too much.
Spicoli: We do.
Zooby: We've crossed the line from: "I watch it every once in awhile."
Spicoli: To: "I know the drug nick name of the main character's brother."
Zooby: Sad.
Spicoli: But I love making fun of him!
Zooby: Me too!
Spicoli: My wife and I LOVE to mock him.
Zooby: I once mocked the Caruso so hard that my mom forbid me to watch the show with her ever again.
Spicoli: She was defending him?
Zooby: Dude. She has some residual NYPD Blue love.
Spicoli: Didn't they show his naked ass every week?
Zooby: I know. You'd think she'd be angry that he turned her off the male ass for life. Especially considering Jimmy Smits' ass followed. That was a far, far better ass.
Spicoli: It would have to be.
Zooby: I think she loves Jimmy Smits, but in a way she doesn't understand. He keeps replacing craggy, old white guys on her favourite shows.
Spicoli: She likes the West Wing then?
Zooby: Yeah. I don't know why. Except maybe that Jimmy Smits is on it. And his ass is sure to follow. Thank God they never showed Sheen's ass.
Spicoli: He's opening doors to worlds she never knew existed.
Zooby: Ass worlds ... Okay, does this seem to be wrapping up a little too neatly on CSI here?
Spicoli: they're like..."shit, running out of time!"
Zooby: Of COURSE it was her shady brother! He's latino and bald!"
Spicoli: GIVE ME BACK MY BADGE.
Zooby: GIVE ME BACK MY BADGE!* whichIlostaftersleepingwithyoursisterwhoIjustmetexceptweweren'tsleepingweweresortofmashedupagainstabuildingaftermeetingonlineandpropositioningeachotherthroughtextmessaging."
Spicoli: Bring out the jean evidence! Uh, it's like fingerprints."
Zooby: Good thing he was wearing Chip and Peppers.
Spicoli: Wow. Fascinating teevee. Typing. It's what made War Games a classic
Zooby: Hee. Next week on CSI: Miami: The chief learns the asdgjkl; row!
********************
It goes on from there, our conversation. If you can believe it, we watched the whole thing. I apologize if this recreated the show in any way shape or form for you people who caught a brief moment and were trying to forget it.
text: Helter Skelter. I had a bloody, bloody dream the other night. I'm going to mark it off to reading this book, which is seriously creeping me out.
tunes: Hot Hot Heat - Make Up the Breakdown.
tube: Spanglish. Gripper rented it last weekend and it was awesome. So there, you Sandler hatahs. So. There.
0 have spoken
