The kind they tell you to "sweat out" at the gym. The stinky, gross, dirty kind. It's not the kind I'm talking about when people say "I worked up a good sweat today." What's a good sweat? Is there sweat out there that smells like roses or petunias or some shit?
Cause my sweat smells like ass. I'm blaming in on the fact that I've been sick, but it's probably just that I'm a stinky, smelly, mess right now.
I just went running because I thought "I'm feeling much better!" You know, if you can go to a concert and pound down two kinda warm beers, slam into 30 or 40 drunk people in your general vicinity for an hour, and then drink another coupla beers, you're over your cold and should be able to go running for an hour without keeling over.
I should elborate. Since I've moved here, I've made a concentrated effort to go running on a fixed schedule of three times a week. I follow a running program designed to shape your fat, flabby body into a rock hard slab of ironman. Okay, okay. That's a lie. It's a running program for complete neophytes who fall down after running for more than five minutes.
It's basically, run one minute, walk one minute. Do that nine times with a warm up and cool down one day, then do that, except for 12 times another day. Then, quit being a one minute pansy and run for two and walk for two nine times, etc. etc. until you are actually running for, like five minutes and walking one. Or something to that effect. I don't know. I fell down after one minute. Or I wanted to.
I wanted to collapse in a heep and cry after the first six rounds. Instead, I walked for five minutes. And then I started running again and ohhhhhhhh, please! Do I haaaaave to? Look! A bench! Let's sit on this bench! Benchy goodness! It will be fun! C'mon! "No whooore! RUUUUNNNNN!"
I'm trying to be hard on myself. I'm trying to be, like, my grade 10 gym teacher. He was a total ass. I wanted to play tennis, but he wouldn't let me. He made me take golf because "You won't be able to run to the courts." Can I tell you that I wanted to beat the shit out of him? I'd like to tell you that I stayed after school and trained myself up until I was able to run to the courts, but that was the beginning of the end for me as far as physical fitness in school went.
I came to terms with the fact that I'm not a distance runner early on in life. I liked to run short distances fast. I played baseball competitevely for years and years, and I loved running the bases fast. I loved stealing second. But I am not the type who's like "Yay! It's mile day!"
I fucking hated mile day. What kind of fitness testing is mile day? We had to run a mile and they would time us. It would take me, like, twelve-fourteen minutes to run a mile. I HATE distance running. Haaaaaate it.
So why am I forcing myself to do this? Because surfing plans are rapidly becoming a reality and I can't afford no gym membership. Besides which, there are no gyms close to me. I could find one and run there or take the bus, but that would suck. I have exercise shit at home. I have tapes and weights and I'm thinking about getting a mat and one of those big balls.
Basically, I'm thankful for wetsuits and the fact that you need one in B.C., even in the middle of summer cause I am pale and flabby and it's gross. I'm going at the end of June, so that gives me some time to not look like a total cow in my one piece (Oh yeah, girls. I'm not working out for bikini weather. I'm working out for one-piece weather. It's that bad.) Me and my surf sisters ErinG. and Special K are renting a cabin with a hot tub and taking a weekend of surfing lessons before getting out on our own.
Think surfing in Canada is lame? Yeah. It probably is, but I want to be ready for when I decide that I need to travel the world and go to Australia/Hawaii next year and surf there.
I'm thinking about joining the learn-to-row club here as well. It's like, $195 for ten sessions, but it looks like fun and they have morning sessions, so I could do it before work. I just need to find out where it is and how I get there and if I'd really do such a thing. I think I would.
I *think* I would. I also thought I could run for longer than five minutes today. We'll see.
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